Tuesday, August 21, 2012

See You Later, Tarantula.

We have returned home now. Safe in the comfort of our own homes. Most of us have probably taken a hot shower by now. I have not for the fact that I want to remember for as long as I can what Haiti smelt like. I want to remember for as long as I can what Haiti felt like. What it looked like. Not only the landscapes and buildings, but the emotions in the faces of ALL of the people I encountered. You do not need to speak the same language in order to know how a person is feeling. I think that is the greatest gift God has given to me this week. Learning to feel things deeper and more meaningful then to just hear.

As we have arrived back home, I feel so many different things. I think the one that is screaming out most is the heartache I am feeling. I know that no matter how much time will pass, a large part of my heart will always be in Haiti. Among all of the different places and people I had seen. There is a piece of my heart in the home for the sick and dying. Specifically in Oonay and Marqu the two older boys that I had so much fun with both of the times I visited. Seeing the pain in Oonay's eyes because all he wanted was to see his mother. And seeing the joy in Marqu's face when I taught him how to say the alphabet. And my heart belongs to the boys I played with in Grace Village. Junior, who made some amazing bracelets for the team, and Moyck, the boy that I was attached to all day. I can see the change that they will eventually make in their world. And part of my heart belongs to James. A boy who is being sponsored to go to school through Healing Haiti. What high hopes and dreams that young man will achieve if he just keeps believing in himself and what he can do. And a part of my heart belongs to Jean, for telling me all week that I was truly good at salsa, when really he could be on dancing with the stars, and the time that we shared together to form an awesome friendship that I know will continue on. And my heart belongs to my team. All of the struggles that we all went through made us not just a close knit group, but a family. A family who doesn't care what you wear because that's not what makes you who you are. A family that will listen no matter how stupid your problem is, like a broken statue (Thanks Kari). And even though we knew we had leaders of the group, we were ALL on the same level of respect, kindness, and integrity. And even though I did not enjoy this as much as all of my other adventures this week, my heart even lies with the largest and furriest tarantula I have ever seen. Rest in peace my friend! (;

So yes, as you can probably tell, my heart is breaking. But those broken pieces belong to very important people who I know will take great responsibility and care of those broken yet distinct pieces of my heart. And as I have returned back home, I am not sure what my future holds for me. But right now it feels good to cry. Knowing I have fourteen others who know how I am feeling. Who I can go to and say "Hey, are you feeling this, too?" Haiti was SO much more than just a mission trip. It was a life changing experience. I believe God has put us in the paths before to prepare us for the paths he puts us on in the future, such as Haiti.

Say goodbye to all of my new friends and family I knew was going to be a daunting task. I knew if I had said the "G" word, my eyes would have turned into waterfalls. Although on the ride home and even now they seem to be. So, I looked at today differently.

"I'll see you later, Haiti."

God Bless,
Love Always,

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