Friday, August 19, 2011

Hey you, which way is UP?

If you think you know what you will see here,... you don't.  If you think you know how you will feel here,... you don't.  If you think you will control your emotions,... you won't.  If you think you will see the truth,... you won't.  If you think you can understand,... there's no damn way.

The truth is that no matter what I write here, you won't get it.  I'm here and I don't get it, so how could I possibly explain it to you?  Can you be heart-broken and healed at the same time?  Can you be deflated and uplifted simultaniously?  How is it that Joy hurts and Pain can make you smile?  How is it that the ones "in need" seem to provide for the ones "who came to give."  It makes no sense, and it is crystal clear.

I have longed to know God's plan for me.  Many times I have thought that I figured it out.  But, just after the epiphany comes and I think I understand someone yells "Hey you," and it's all mixed up again.

If you think you have it all figured out, step out of the box for just one second.......... I dare you.

I have always been jealous of people who had a clear understanding of what they want to do with their life.  Being driven by passion is something I don't know much about.  Being driven by reason and logic... now that's something I can sink my teeth into.  With reason and logic everything is neat and clean and it all makes sense.  The only place in my life for passion is in my role as Husband and Father.  My wife and my children fall in the passion category, but that's it.  Everything else need to be boxed and controlled..... And then there is Haiti.

What do I do about the fact that I have fallen in love with the people here?  What would people say if they knew I want to be with these children?  What would people think if they knew that I have been thinking all day about moving my family here?  It is not neat and clean.  It does not fit into my boxed of reason and logic.  It must be passion.... now what do I do with it?

Submitted by:  Brian Roesler

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